The Quiz Concludes
___ Hangs in there when there is conflict or tension in our relationship.
___ Doesn’t blame me or accuse me of things I didn’t do.
___ Gives me the benefit of the doubt.
___ Takes the first step to make things better or to improve things within our relationship.
___ Keeps hassles and arguments short, to the point, and under control.
___ Trusts me.
___ Believes what I tell him/her.
___ Doesn’t use me or take advantage of me.
Now Rate Your lover
Rating your lover requires a little math but is fairly easy. Add together the ratings you gave your lover for each of the statements. The total score will be from 0 to 174. Once you have the score, use the guide below to interpret your lover’s rating as a High Road traveler.
131 to 174 You have found a gem. Your lover may not be quite perfect; but the High Road is certainly where he/she spends most days, and likely most nights as well. When you get to brooding on the imperfections, work a little on your Proactive Personal Style (PPS), and look at how well it’s going most of the time for you and your lover. Now, think about what you can do from your side of your relationship to put a little more zip and sparkle here and there, since your lover is definitely a keeper.
88 to 130 Your lover is not quite a High Road regular but gets there fairly often. You have some things to seriously discuss; but your relationship is going rather well. You need to identify the strength of your game when it comes to your lover and give more emphasis to those areas. Your lover will likely respond by giving his/her less strong areas more effort and energy, especially if you are sensitive but candid about what you think could use more attention and focus. Caution! Get your lover to emphasize those areas where he/she is already nearing perfection. Your goal needs to be for your relationship to get more perfect instead of less imperfect. Do more of what you do well and what you do less well will either improve over time or become less important. Either way, you and your lover will find that if you love better, being better loved will take care of itself.
43 to 87 Help! Is there a doctor in the house? Surprise of surprises, a doctor suddenly appears, examines your relationship, makes a diagnosis, and says, “Take two aspirins and call someone more qualified than I. There is a limit to my skills; and you have passed it.” Well, it may not be quite that far gone; but it’s close. If you and your lover both want to work on it for a very long time, counseling might help; but only if both of you go. Otherwise, it’s likely all she wrote, as they say.
0 to 42 How did you get into this relationship to begin with? You will need to give that a very close look. You certainly weren’t on The High Road when you got involved. Well, okay. Maybe it used to be different, you and your lover used to have a wonderful thing going. Even so, it’s been going down the tube for a very long time and neither of you have done much to stop it. It’s likely time to put the old dog in the truck and take it on down the road, in separate cars, houses, beds, and whatever else you have been sharing; but if you both absolutely want and need to take it down the road together, you will need to settle for what you have going with each other, which isn’t much. Nonetheless, you can be sure that you are personally sticking to The High Road, every time, in every way with your lover, keeping in mind that,
Doing everything you do with style, all the time, on purpose is a personal commitment and doesn’t depend on whether someone else is or isn’t committed to traveling with you on The High Road.
Now you know so there you go.