I am my own….

Why I signed up for this writing class is a serious question; and what I’m supposed to do with that prompt is one of the world’s great mysteries.

I slid my chair back from the keyboard and swiveled to look at my roommate who clearly thought it was all very funny: me taking a writing class and me asking him for writing advice. I just waved my hand, indicating that he should check out what I had typed.

I couldn’t tell if he was serious trying to be funny or laughing trying to be serious. “That’s a start. I think you should leave it just the way it is. I can’t wait to see what Dr. Miller writes in the margin.”

Gesturing at the keyboard, I said, “Be my guest. If you think you can do better, you are welcome to give it a try.”

Kevin threw up his hands and said, “It’s not my job. It’s your job to write and mine to tell you that you are full of it. – And you are so full of it.”

“That’s what you think your job is anyway. How do you think Miller would like it if every time I wrote a sentense, you put in your two cents, telling me why I am full of it?”

Kevin got the look, the one he gets when he is about to try talking me into something absurd. I just waited, knowing it was coming.

“Here’s what we should do. You write something, starting with the prompt. You write a sentense and then I’ll write a sentense telling you why you are full of it.”

I didn’t hesitate, “ Slide your butt over here. This should be educational. – More for you than for me.”

Me: I am my own biggest fan.

K: I agree that you have the biggest ego; but the prize goes to your mother. She thinks you are her Mr. Perfect and tells anyone who will listen.”

Me: I am my own worst enemy.”

K: “That’s too easy. Kelly’s new boy friend is definitely your new worst enemy, after he saw you and her…. Well you know what he saw you doing, now that you know he saw you.”

Me: “You are so full of it. He didn’t see us…, did he? Anyway, how do you know what he might have seen?”

K: “No, I don’t think so but he could have. I saw the two of you coming around from behind the library. It does not take a genious to figure out what you were doing back there. He may not be your actual worst enemy but you and Kelly should be more careful if you are going to do more of whatever you were doing.”

Me: “Point taken. Any suggestions for being more careful, since I am definitely not going to stop doing what we were doing, so long as Kelly wants to keep doing it?”

K: “I am my own worst source of advice about women. – That makes it your turn to tell me why I am full of it.”

Me: “Pass!”