Many things can lead to your child’s having
problems expressing his thoughts and ideas. Children get excited or upset. They
find themselves in new situations. They have to deal with things they do not
Some children are more talkative and others are
quieter. Some find it hard to write about things. Some let you know what is on
their minds from their facial expressions and other body language. The ability
to communicate varies a lot. For that matter, it varies for each child at
times. Some days he can get his ideas across better than others.
There can be several reasons why your child has
more trouble communicating than other children. Ask yourself these questions.
Has he had a chance to learn to communicate? Does anyone at school or at home
care what he has to say? At least you take the time to give him a chance. You
care what he has to say.
Another reason for trouble communicating is a
part of human nature. children think and feel a lot more than they can
communicate. It can be hard to find the right words or put thoughts and ideas
together. Your child might think he is not smart enough to explain things. Even
worse, he might believe it is not worth the bother.
Learning problems are connected. Trouble
expressing thoughts and ideas are connected to problems making choices and
decisions. Think about it like this. Your child has many thoughts and feelings.
Which thoughts does he tell you about? Which feelings does he share? How does
he choose? Deciding may be hard for him.
Also keep this in mind. If he thinks you are not
going to believe him, he just keeps his thoughts and feelings to himself.
Saying what is on his mind might not be smart. It could go like this.
“Did you do your homework?”
“No.” You then ask, “Why not?” He says, “It was too
hard. I don’t like school anyway.”
You now say, “It doesn’t matter whether you
like school or not. You have to do your homework.”
Your child has to wonder whether it might be
smarter to just say nothing the next time. For what it is worth, he really did
say the homework was too hard. This usually means he does not know how to do
it. Not knowing how was a reasonable explanation. Also, it was the truth. He
cannot do something he does not know how to do.
Just taking time to listen is not enough. Your
child needs to be taken seriously. He wants to know you believe him or at least
hang in there until you understand why he thinks and feels what he thinks and